Im crying all the time

I am crying all the time. My heart was crying all the time. Now my heart is becoming a stone and it started to feel nothing because of the hurts that they make me feels. I don't want to be like stone. Stone that never feels anything but this is what I feel. It's so hard that your the only one who needs to understands what they feels but the feelings the hurts that you feels they never try to understands. My heart, my self, was just like starting to fail. I wanna stop my self and my heart to cry and forget anything and just pretending that it's not happen but it's so hard. I wanna stop the hurts and take it away. But it's not that easy. I'm pushing my self to be strong but I can't. If only hat my father was here I can cry to him to take all the pains. I thought from the very beginning being the only child was OK but I just realized that is not that easy. Because they expect a lot from you. They expect me to be perfect. It's just like that they expect me to be PERFECT IN EVERYTHING!!!. I'm not perfect. I'm just a person who also trying her best to be good as they want. They never listen to what I am saying to what I want to try to explain to them. There's nothing I can do about it because I don't want to forget that they are part of this life. Sometimes my heart was started to shout out all the feeling here but I'm scared. If only I can make a magic and magic my self to be perfect but.............I just want to stay as me and whatever goes on inspite of all the pains the hurts I wanna learn something new fromthis things. I'm so tired of this. I just want to leave it to God beacuse I know he is going to do something with this Life. But still my heart was crying and I know that it will never stops.